A satirical, sarcastic poem that is part of my fantasy world and is completely disconnected with reality (aside from some proper nouns employed to anchor key sections). Consider this part of my humorous response to the shitshow that is in the process of going down in Washington’s State-legal Cannabis industry. Keep an eye on HI-Blog over the next few days. I will be posting some short articles on the possible risks and benefits of the Great Traceability Meltdown of 2017.
Communication Breakdown
A fantasy poem about felony angst on Halloween 2017
Dr. James MacRae
T’was the night of the ghoulies
And all through the state
502’ers were nervous
And the Feds were irate
Jeff Sessions yelled meekly
“They can’t track their weed!”
Guvn’r Jay and his AG
Just shit, puked and peed.
Jay called his good buddy
The Garza from school
And said “What the fuck, man”
“I look like a fool!”
Jay then called Mr. Hauge
His fav appointee
And asked “Russ am I dreaming?”
“Can this all really be?”
Russ replied rather quickly
“I don’t know a thing”
“I’m just a part-timer”
“and I’d rather not sing.”
“If you want our perspective,”
“you must talk to Rick”
“He’ll baffle with bullshit”
“…but you will feel less sick”
The Garza replied
With a Directorial frown
“I could not know the vendors”
“would all let us down”
“The industry workgroup”
“said things were all fine”
“So I focused my efforts”
“on beer, vapes and wine”
“With the Holidays coming”
“and harvest time here”
“There is nothing to worry about”
“Chill … have a beer”
“The volume of wastage”
“May go through the roof”
“and many lab samples”
“may truly be spoofed”
“But my soldiers, dear Guvn’r”
“are under my axe”
“Their duty is clear now”
“to collect all that tax.”
“Whether product is sold”
“in this state or not”
“We’ll squeeze our percentage”
“out of ALL of that pot.”
“Even the children will pay”
“all applicable tax”
“If there are any complaints,”
“we’ll alter the facts.”
“No crime is involved”
“of the organized kind.”
“I’m in control of my Team”
“I’m not losing my mind.”
“You see Mr. Guvn’r”
Said his LCB serf
“you get what you pay for”
“and I’m worth what I’m worth.”
…
What a shitshow.
Shitshow, and more… lol